Eating disorder is not your fault

Why do we associate mental illness with ourselves?

Often, we subconsciously internalize labels about ourselves. When facing a group of strangers, we tend to introduce ourselves with our most distinct trait or showcase our inner self.

Mental illness is often not openly discussed, leading those affected to perceive it as a minority trait among the general population. Outsiders may associate the illness with traits like “negativity, overthinking, or lack of self-healing ability”. Over time, those with mental illness may internalize these associations, viewing them as part of their personality.

Consequently, when they make what they perceive as "wrong" decisions, they often attribute it to their character, feeling they're not disciplined enough, too fragile, or too sensitive, instead of blaming the situation or the circumstances.

Separate the two

Consider a common scenario: when you have a cold and constantly have a runny nose, sneeze, and cough, it's uncomfortable, and you worry about affecting those around you. What would be your thoughts? Probably you would blame the cold.

Similar to cold, eating disorder is a disease, it cannot define us. It is a part of us that we wish to be gone, the same way as we treat cold. It causes symptoms on us such as binge eating or restricting foods, but it is not us.

Try to identify the differences between eating disorders (the sick part of you) and your healthy self to help with separating the two. For example,

Eating disorder makes you: Fear the weight gain from food, constantly obsess over calorie data, never feel satisfied with your body …

Your healthy-self: wants to enjoy food without worry, to use more energy on things you actually enjoy, to feel comfortable with your body…

You see, these disordered eating thoughts don't belong to you originally. By distinguishing the two, you can identify behaviors that your healthy self wouldn't engage in, and realizing it is not your fault.

Similar as when we catch a cold, we need medicine and rest, eating disorders also require psychological counseling & nutritional intervention, and often medication.

With assistance, you can become increasingly attuned to the healthy part of yourself and gradually diminish the influence of the eating disorder voice, moving toward a place where it holds less sway.

Author: Bingdu Liang, Jin Fu, Cassie Peng